


faded lights

by PlayerTwoHeere



Series: strangers - trash boat [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Blood, Christmas, I legit cried writing this, M/M, Pet Names, car crashes, descriptive, im so sorry, sort of a follow up to forget-me-nots, this is an awful christmas present kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 08:48:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14469117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlayerTwoHeere/pseuds/PlayerTwoHeere
Summary: The light was flickering, the bulb dim above them, just enough to illuminate the fallen snow and the blood pooling under Jeremy. It didn’t matter to Michael, he knew Jeremy’s features like the back of his hand- sometimes even better. It didn’t matter what lighting he was in. Firelight- The light from the fire outside of a lake house, the glow casting shadows over Jeremy’s pale face as he talked excitedly about ghosts or some shit like that, being a total and utter adorable nerd- Sunlight- Jeremy on rollerblades, looking up at Michael and the sun as he clung to him, a dorky grin on his face- Moonlight- Jeremy grinning in the hollow tree outside Michael’s window, his feet swinging on a cool fall night when he had snuck out just to talk to Michael- Fluorescent light- Jeremy in the hospital, eyes closed and out cold under the bright white lights that made him look sickly and pale, as Michael stood watch- Streetlights- Jeremy standing in the rain at the train station, utterly drenched, apologizing profusely as the streetlamp flickered above them- it didn’t matter, Michael had memorized the curve of his jaw, the sweep of his hair, the bright light in his eyes.





	faded lights

It was the dead of night, a snowy road in New Jersey. All around was the pale artificial glow from windows, the strings of Christmas lights illuminating the darkness and the crashed car on the side of the road. The sound of the skidding of brakes still seemed to echo around the quiet suburb street. Someone had called an ambulance. It was on its way, but so was someone else. 

Michael sprinted out of the house as soon as he heard the grinding, awful noise of brakes. Maybe he was being paranoid, but Jeremy had just texted him that he was turning onto Michael’s street right now, and goddamnit if that had been his car- 

An old gold Prius was there with the driver’s side crushed in, another car in the ditch next to it, and even from here, with his awful vision and slightly broken glasses, he could see the bumper sticker from when Jeremy was on the honor roll and his dad stuck it on the back bumper, a little lopsided. A body- an all too familiar one- was lying on the pavement, and Michael could swear he could see liquid around the figure. Above him knelt a woman- an older woman, one Michael recognized as being his neighbour for years. Mrs. Henderson looked up at him. “Michael, there was a drunk driver, I already called an ambulance, he’s losing a lot of blo-“ Michael fell to his knees next to the broken body of his boyfriend, sobbing. 

“J-J-Jeremy, please, open your eyes.” Even in the darkness of the night, Michael could tell that Jeremy’s head had been hit, there was too much blood. The only way he could make out his boyfriend’s features was from the faint streetlight above them. 

The light was flickering, the bulb dim above them, just enough to illuminate the fallen snow and the blood pooling under Jeremy. It didn’t matter to Michael, he knew Jeremy’s features like the back of his hand- sometimes even better. It didn’t matter what lighting he was in. Firelight- The light from the fire outside of a lake house, the glow casting shadows over Jeremy’s pale face as he talked excitedly about ghosts or some shit like that, being a total and utter adorable nerd- Sunlight- Jeremy on rollerblades, looking up at Michael and the sun as he clung to him, a dorky grin on his face- Moonlight- Jeremy grinning in the hollow tree outside Michael’s window, his feet swinging on a cool fall night when he had snuck out just to talk to Michael- Fluorescent light- Jeremy in the hospital, recovering from the SQUIP, eyes closed and out cold under the bright white lights that made him look sickly and pale, as Michael stood watch- Streetlights- Jeremy standing in the rain at the train station, utterly drenched, apologizing profusely as the streetlamp flickered above them- it didn’t matter, Michael had memorized the curve of his jaw, the sweep of his hair, the bright light in his eyes.

Jeremy on the ground let out a tiny groaning noise, and he opened his eyes just a crack, a blue sliver shining with tears. Michael sobbed, taking his face in his hands, gently. “J-Jer, stay with me, okay? Keep your eyes open, Jerbear. Please please please.” Jeremy’s lips parted in a shaky breath, like he was struggling to get air. 

“M-M-Michael-“ He forced out, voice breathy and choked, tears streaming down his face. He looked so broken, and Michael couldn’t help but cry as well. 

“Jer, no, don’t talk, you’re gonna be fine.” He said, but his throat was choked with sobs threatening to wrench themselves from his lips. He tried to keep them down, tried to be the less emotional one for Jeremy. 

“It hurts,” Jeremy whined, a blood stained hand coming up to clutch at Michael’s wrist, and Michael had vivid memories of the pale boy doing something much the same after waking up from the SQUIP, clutching at his hand, crying. 

“Shh, I know, I know.” Michael grasped at Jeremy’s hand, linking their fingers together. His other hand went to brush through his boyfriend’s hair, not even caring if it was slightly sticky from the blood. “Save your strength, mahal ko, you’re going to be okay. Stay alive for me, okay?” He choked out through the lump in his throat. Jeremy nodded, whimpering from the pain.

“M-Micah-“ He tried again, looking up at Michael desperately. Michael could see panic and pain and fear in those blue eyes, shining with the spark of life they always carried. 

“J-Jer, you can tell me later, the paramedics are on their w-“ Jeremy grasped at Michael’s shirt with a hand, his grip weak. He pulled on it a little, and Michael leaned down. 

“I-I’m not gonna make it-“ His voice was low and quiet, barely above a whisper, and Michael could feel a sob in his chest. 

“Don’t say that, you idiot, you’re going to be fine!” Michael said, holding Jeremy’s hand tightly. The fact that he sobbed mid-sentence didn’t make him believe himself in the slightest.

Jeremy looked up at Michael, and Michael could already see him slipping away. “Micah, I-“ He coughed, and Michael could’ve sworn he saw the bright red of blood on Jeremy’s lips, and he saw his boyfriend’s chest shudder with difficulty as he breathed again. It almost looked fake, with how much blood there was, but Michael was sure Jeremy could make it. 

Then his beautiful bright blue eyes closed, and Michael’s heart pounded in his chest so hard he thought it would burst. “Please, keep your eyes open, please.” Michael sobbed, and he knew he was crying extremely hard now, he could feel the tears on his cheeks almost freezing in the cold weather. 

“I l-love you.” Jeremy’s words were so quiet that even Michael, barely a foot away from his face, could hardly hear them. The words had a sense of finality to them, and Michael felt his heart drop and soar at the same time. 

“I love you too, so much. Please, Player Two, stay with me.” Michael pleaded, but Jeremy seemed to force his eyes open. In lieu of responding, Jeremy tugged his shirt weakly, pulling him closer. 

Michael leaned down, and Jeremy lifted his head just enough to press their lips together. Michael could taste the tangy iron of blood and the saltiness of tears and it hurt his heart so much, but he heard the wailing of sirens in the distance. He pulled away, his lips tingling from the kiss. “Jer, there’s the ambulance, you’re gonna be f-“ Then he looked down at Jeremy, noticing that his hand had dropped from his shirt to fall limply on Jeremy’s thin chest, and that Jeremy’s eyes- still slightly opened- held no life. “No.” Michael whimpered, Jeremy’s face still in his hands. “No no no, Jer, please.” Michael cradled Jeremy’s head in his lap, brushing his chestnut curls off of his bloody forehead, humming some song he barely recognized until the ambulance pulled up. Jeremy was loaded onto a gurney and into the ambulance, but he was too far gone.

Seeing Jeremy Heere’s bright, ocean blue eyes was what broke Michael Mell’s heart for good. He’d never be able to remember them, not without remembering how they looked in the faded light of that suburban New Jersey street lamp.

**Author's Note:**

> oof i’m sorry guys i swear i love Jeremy, it physically hurt to write this honestly but i’m proud
> 
> so this idea came to me from listening to Strangers by Trash Boat and i’m gonna write a series of one-shots based on that song. they’re not all going to be angsty i promise.
> 
> it’s all going to be in the forget-me-nots universe, so no SQUIP, unless i can find a way to work it in.


End file.
